Archive for September, 2010

reality check

Posted in Mexico on September 24, 2010 by gabrea

A great article from this week’s El Sayulero, putting things in perspective – http://elsayulero.com/story/mexican-resilience

Problems are only as big and problematic as we allow them to become in our minds.

More things I am happy for today:

  • My sweet little doggy.
  • Flocks of calandrias in the trees outside.
  • Gorgeous new doors on our bedrooms!
  • Funny shit on TV last night.
  • Maxxi asking me to “hold like a baby?”, while I rock him back and forth and sing lullabies.
  • Exercising with my man.
  • Calle Libertad is bladed and driveable!
  • Sunny day.

Advertisements

honestly…

Posted in Uncategorized on September 23, 2010 by gabrea

I tend to be the type of blogger – of person, to be honest – that obsesses on most of what I put out in the world.  Call it OCD, call it perfectionism, call it sheer egotism.  I don’t know.  It is crippling at its worst, because it so often keeps me from just writing or putting my feelings out there, in all of their raw glory.  Well, today I am going to try something different.  An exercise in therapeutic writing if you will.  Because I need it.  We just returned from a glorious 4 week vacation in Northern California, bouncing around visiting friends and family, nary a care in the world, in one of the more beautiful spots in the world, and reality is hitting me hard.  I feel like I suck for being sad, when my life is so awesome, but that is life, no?  It’s ALWAYS tough coming back to reality from a vacation, whether you are slipping back into an 8-7 (who the fuck works 9 to 5 anymore?), or getting your groove back amid mud and mosquitoes.  So after 4 weeks of completely ignoring work and really disconnecting from computers and all that they entail, I am having a hard time coming to terms with the reality of returning to life.  It’s okay – I know it will be okay, and that it will all get done and be fine and wonderful again, but it gets to me and I get overwhelmed.  Today my amazing and wonderful man sat me down for a much needed (but not always well received on my part) pep talk, and shortly after ended up talking to 2 other friends who are going through the same frustrations with the general challenges of life that are so prevalent in Mexico in the dead of summer.  And have we ever had a summer.  Not that I have any remote right to bitch about it because I wasn’t here for the craziness that ensued and I didn’t spend a week cleaning up mud and sludge like so many of my amazing friends here.  But for the first time, having gone away for 4 weeks in the middle of the least seasonable part of our Mexican year, I am having trouble re-adjusting to the crustier side of life after 4 shiny weeks in the clean and orderly u.s. of a.  Plus I miss being carefree on vacation.  So I have been a little sad.  And for that, I am making this list for myself, and baring my soul a bit, because it made me feel better today to hear that other people were feeling the same way, so maybe this will help someone else feel better knowing what I feel… but mostly so that I can remind myself of all the awesomeness in my world each day.

Things I am Happy For:

My Supportive, Loving, Hot, Faithful, Funny, Sexy, Sensitive, Empathetic, Wonderful Husband (who puts up with my and my moods).

My Perfect Son, not because he is perfect, but because he is perfectly ours and is everything that matters in the world.

My house that did not fill with mud.

The tree across the street that has not fallen.

My friends all over the world, old and new.

New music to listen to.

A clean house today (that I didn’t have to clean myself).

Beautiful new doors on our bedrooms upstairs.

I get to work from home.

We all slept until 10 today.

A pool party this evening – rain or shine.

Giant butterflies in the garden.

A fuzzy caterpillar for Maxxi to study.

A shot of tequila with my man.

The flowers he brought home for me the other day.

The power hasn’t gone out since Monday.

The cache of wine on top of my fridge.

Being honest with myself in this moment, and allowing myself to be real and not pretend to be perfect and sunny.  Because it’s okay to be sad sometimes, even if your life is pretty fucking great.