Archive for September 4, 2009

Ain’t Love Grand

Posted in family, Gabbi, love, Maximo on September 4, 2009 by Gabbi El Mas Negro

639727468_PaGF6-LLast week Maximo Lobo turned 1 year old.  In celebration, Nona & Nono Villarrubia and Grampa Billy came to visit for the week.  We had a wonderful time with all of them, and were all super spoiled by having so much Grandparent love in the house.  It feels like Maximo does something new every single day these days, and it was extra special to experience his awesomeness with the only other people (along with Grammy Karen & Papa Mark!) who can match (exceed?) our own enthusiasm for our offspring.  Getting to see him settle into his comfort with each of them is always cool to watch.  It’s been about 6 months since he’s seen them, so it’s takes a day or two, but by the end he is so into them all, forming unique relationships with each, and it’s a beautiful thing to witness.  Of course, the coolness of being able to hand him off to people who love him as much as you do and want nothing more than to hang out with him all day long cannot be overstated.  Such a lovely freedom, and a hard one to give up – for Maximo, who was constantly attended to and entertained; and for me, who didn’t have to constantly attend to and entertain.  I remember the early early days… the first round of Grandparent visits during months 1 and 2… how I would find myself feeling almost jealous as I handed off my newborn babe to the waiting arms of his Abuela or Grammy, concerned that I was sacrificing too much of my precious bonding and attachment time.  Now, securely attached beyond a doubt one year later, I have no problems handing my son off to willing and able hands – we get plenty of time together, me & him, and I cherish it.

Gabbi and I have been reflecting a lot this week on how lovely it was to have our folks here, and how different it is to have family visit now that we have a child.  We love our parents dearly, and have for the most part lived far away from them as adults (me more so than him).  I have never felt particularly attached to home as “a place where I grew up,” and moving away was a big part of claiming my independence as a young adult.   I’ve always preferred living away from my parents, for the freedom it gave me.  They are also relatively young and busy with their own lives, so it generally seemed like enough to see each other a few times a year, not to say we didn’t miss each other.  Now that I’m a parent, I find that my priorities and wants have shifted.  Family is more fun – less obligation, more celebration.  We all get along better.  Everyone seems happier; renewed and re-energized by this new life that we all share a boundless love for.  The time flies by and ends too soon, whereas a younger, more selfish me would have grown tired of day-upon-day with parents around.  Now Gabbi & I imagine a time in the future when Maxxi’s Grandparents will hang their hats in our home, or one of their own nearby, at least part of the year.  Because he needs his Grandparents in his life more than a week at a time, and so do we.  For this, we put everything we have into expanding our home so we have an extra bedroom to share with our families (and our friends – come visit now!).  For this, we will keep putting it out there; keep planting the seeds of ideas about making a life here until it can’t help but take root.  And we will keep counting the days until that next visit, which thankfully comes more and more frequently as we all shift our priorities towards Maximo, and find whatever ways we can to get ourselves together.  Fortunately, we can already start ticking them off as we look forward to our big Christmas reunion.  ¡Hasta Navidad!