Where Does Maxxi Live? “Sayulita!”

Wow – so many new words and tricks lately! Gabbi taught him this one on a recent afternoon walk into town. Other new favorite recent vocab additions: moon, ball, tree, chair, and – so cute! – “ho! ho! ho!”

Dia de los Muertos

-Jeannette Stoops and Mabel Bischoff (l to r), July 3, 2004, at our Kentuckiana Post-Wedding Reception-

Today is Dia de los Muertos, Day of the Dead.  A time for celebrating and remembering those that have left us, and guiding their spirits back to the home with altars bearing offerings of food, gifts, flowers, candles.  Both of my Grandmothers, Mabel and Jeannette, passed away within the last two years, and it is their memory that I honor and celebrate today.  They were both vibrant, strong,  beautiful, loving Southern Women – Mothers to 7 and 5 children, Grandmothers to exponientially more of us, and Great-Grandmothers to the few lucky enough to be born before they passed.

Today I spent some time telling Maxxi the story of his Great-Grandmothers, his Bisabuelas. How Grandma Mabel (Miss Marvelous Mabel Blanche) loved to tell stories, play penny poker with her friends, smoke GPCs, drink sweet tea, and most of all talk about all of her Grandchildren and her love for them.  How she used to make me sugar-toast for breakfast.  How she had the strength to leave a bad marriage and live on her own when it just wasn’t done and it for sure wasn’t easy, but she lived her life on her own terms.  How she always waved goodbye with both hands, because that just sent twice as much love with you on your way. How much she would have loved knowing him, and hearing his laugh.

How his Great-Grandma Jeannette always wanted nothing more for her Children and Grandchildren than to be happy on whatever path they chose.  How she was the best cook, and made everything from scratch, and sewed outfits for my Barbie dolls, and made the best lemon meringue pie and fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and milk gravy.  How she was the eternal optimist to the end of her days, in the best sense of the word – only celebrating what she had left in her life and the love she had for and from her family; never lamenting her losses, the hardships life dealt her, the failings of her body as she aged.  She was full of joy and love and had such a profound affect on all who knew her, and seeing photos of baby Maximo gave her so much happiness in her last months of life.

To my beautiful Grandmothers Jeannette & Mabel, who traveled the long and winding road from Daughter to Mother to Grandmother to Great-Grandmother with grace, strength, love and wisdom – I honor you and I carry your torch into the future so that your Bisnieto Maximo will know you through the many life lessons you taught me, that surely inform my own Mothering in ways too instinctual to notice and too plentiful to count.  I love you and miss you both.

QM

Best. Weekend. EVER!

Wow.  Halloween was awesome.  Little Maxxi Lobo dressed as “Max, King of the Wild Things,” and Mama was one of his savage subjects.  Gabbi took off his costume and went as his true self, horns and all.  This is the first Halloween that I’ve done the full-on homemade costume thing, and I must say, I’m feeling pretty good about my crafty self.  Our dear friend Lisa Brewer, who was with us when Maximo came screaming into the big wide world, made Maxxi’s amazing, spot-on “wolf suit.”  Sew impressive – honestly, I am always amazed that people can actually make things on sewing machines with fabric.  And such a gift of her time and love to create this costume from scratch.  Lisa, you are the best Tia and we love you so much!!!  I made his little crown and scepter, and then managed to pull together my costume on Halloween day using Lisa’s magical glue gun, and Gabbi’s magical scale-drawing talents.

We kicked off the evening in Sayulita’s town plaza, which was filled with families.  I brought candy to hand out, and was immediately swarmed by kids chanting “Queremos Halloween” (“We Want Halloween!”), which is what they say here instead of “Trick or Treat.”  I also got a few “Feliz Halloween”s and a “Halloween o Truco” (truco = trick).  There were lots of great costumes on kids and adults.  Our favorite was an adorable mummy baby, Jonathan.  There were LOTS of kids dressed as devils, along with vampires, zombies, fairies, and the rest of the usual suspects.  Maximo was such a champ and loved his costume.  He actually wore his crown and was waving his scepter around at everyone, loving the crowds.  I was roaring my terrible roar and gnashing my terrible teeth and stomping my terrible clawed feet, crying “Let the Wild Rumpus Start!”  We had so much fun and were a big hit.  After the plaza, we headed home to our street where our neighbors and great friends Tamra, Theo, and Talula were throwing a magical Harry Potter themed Halloween Party.  The wild rumpus continued with a fabulous friend-filled fiesta and delicious blood-red (pomegranate) margaritas.

This morning we got up early and walked down to Rollie’s for the first day of the best breakfast in town – arguably anywhere for that matter.  Rollie’s is a Sayulita institution, serving up some of the best pancakes you will ever eat along with a heap of love and all around feel-goodness, topped off with a damn good bloody mary (a critical counterbalance to those bloody margaritas from last night…).  Being at Rollie’s again (they close for the summer from May – November) felt like being home, and it also feels like the official kick-off to the high season, which is ramping up in full force, along with our workload.

But today was a lovely work-free Sunday, and after filling our bellies with entirely too much food for any sane person to eat on a regular basis, we packed up the good ship albion and cruised over to La Lancha, a gorgeous stretch of undeveloped white sand beach in Punta de Mita, and also my man’s favorite surf break.  We were joined by our lovely friends Nick, Treva, Astrid, Steve and Laura.  Tamra sent us with a bunch of yummies left over from the party last night, and we had a perfect day.  The weather is just amazing right now – warm but not hot, no humidity, the ocean at the absolute perfect temperature.  The sun was glistening on a gorgeous low-tide sea with sweet little long-board waves peeling gently into shore.  This was our first time to the beach since Maxxi started walking and it was a whole new world.  He had the best time walking around the sand, wading into the surf, collecting rocks and shells, playing with Dulce and Astrid, and just generally being his awesome smiley sweet self.  We got to watch Gabbi surf for the first time, took some stellar photos, and saw the most gorgeous pink-lemonade sunset, followed by a full moon lighting up the drive home.

Honestly, a completely perfect weekend.  I am so filled with love for my family – for my super-hot surfer husband who showers me with so much love and is my best friend and favorite person to hang out with; and for my son – my sun – who though it seems impossible today, I know I will love even more tomorrow, because he keeps doing new and amazing things and his joy and wonder are utterly contagious.  He cracks me up and makes me want to dance and run and sing and be silly and, well, this is why people love being parents.  I am not even sure how to say it in a way that is particularly eloquent or that is not completely clichéd, but I feel this incredible surge of love and pride and joy and all around awesomeness when I think about and look at my boy.  Everything he does is incredible and magical and smart and funny and perfect, and I see the world anew through his big brown eyes.  I am so completely, totally, absolutely, madly in LOVE!!!!!  And that, is perfect.

QM

Beautiful Boy

Out on the ocean, sailing away,
I can hardly wait
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we’ll both
Just have to be patient

…

Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,
Darling,  Darling, Darling,
Maximo-oooo.

-John Lennon, 1980-

Go Forth, Young Pioneer (just not too fast…)

Maximo took his first glorious, stumbling, Frankenstein (just in time for Halloween) steps this week.  This is definitely one of those milestones that gives you (meaning me) pause.  He’s been standing and walking along edges for a while now, so we kind of expected it to be any day for some time, but then suddenly he’s doing it, and there you are, it is done.  He’s not covering much ground yet before he plops onto his booty, but he is figuring it all out, finding his weight and balance, and discovering this new way of being in and moving through his wondrous world.  How exciting for him, finding his legs.  How rewarding for us, getting to watch and help him.

At just shy of 14 months, it’s funny how I see my own perspective on milestones changing already.  For the first 9 months, I kept a spreadsheet tracking every stage of early development :

• month 5, week 2: puts own foot in mouth!
• month 8, week 2: cutting 3^rd & 4^th teeth – upper gums!

Then things start happening so fast, and you’ve been a parent for almost a year and it’s not all brand shining new and you are just living and experiencing it all together, forgetting to record every tiny detail and then suddenly your tiny little baby boy (psst…not so tiny anymore, btw) is W…A…L…KING and oh lord what next?????

As my dear friend and mama-mentor Tamra is so fond of reminding all of us parents, kids develop right on time, right on schedule, and it’s so important to cherish every minute, without rushing or pressuring them onto the next stage.  Kids set their perfect pace and find their perfect place in the world, and there is no right or wrong time for them to do this and master that.  As parents, it is all flying by so fast that we must slow down and cherish the moments when they still want to nurse, when they still long to snuggle and cuddle and kiss, when they can’t yet run away on two feet or ride their bike without training wheels or surf or swim or whatever.  Because one day they can’t and then the next day — they can and they always will.  They crawl and they never sit still;  they walk and then they run;  once learned, they don’t forget how to ride a bike or tie their shoes, it just becomes something they do like so many other things that make them more independent, self-sufficient, grown-up.

So it is with some bittersweet-ness that I reflect on this wonderful and joyous milestone for little Maxxi.  I am so thrilled for him and I adore watching him toddle around and figure it all out.  And I am cherishing even more those moments when he wants nothing more than to be in his mama’s arms, at my breast, or just by my side.  Because it’s all fleeting and precious, and he is the best gift, each and every day.

QM

I want my M(axxi)TV!

Happy Birthday to Gabbi!!

“Perfect 40″ (photo by Ms. Donna Day – gracias!)

In just a few days, my man turns 40.  Pretty awesome, as he is riding high and looking foxier than ever.  Super fit, great life, amazing dad, soooooo handsome, passionate and inspired about fun new things like surfing, and always by the good old classics like love and family.  Those are just a few musings about my incredible husband.  Let me tell you, I hit the jackpot when I met Gabbi.  10 years ago – ten! – he walked into my life when I walked into a job interview, and destiny changed both of our paths forever.  It’s crazy to think that it has been a decade.  It feels like yesterday and at the same time it feels like we’ve known each other forever and always.

Gabbi’s birthday is always one of my favorite holidays of the year, as I love celebrating the awesomeness that is my best friend, my husband, my partner, my man.  He relishes growing older and wiser and tends to add a few onto his upcoming age (having been “almost 40″ for about 5 years now).  We have a long-standing tradition of going away for Gab’s birthday and this year we rented a penthouse-level condo on the beach in old town Puerto Vallarta.  We’re looking forward to getting away for a few days with our son, experiencing a different side of a town we only know for errands and work, and celebrating 40 years of super-coolness.  I can’t wait.  Happy Birthday, My Love!!

QM

Scissors on a String

Living in Mexico keeps you on your toes.  Stairs without rails, scorpions, dirty water, drivers passing on blind corners at blinding speeds.  To the faint of heart, it surely must seem like a risky operation.  But for those of us who have chosen to hang our hats here, it’s just life.  I like to think that these little challenges serve to heighten our awareness of our surroundings and how we move through the world.  Life in the States is so tied up in regulations, warning labels, safety codes, and litigation (or the fear thereof) that it’s easy to move through one’s world in a state of oblivious zombie bliss.

Still, every now and then, I see something on the streets of my little pueblo that gives me pause.  Like the woman driving the ATV one-handed while holding her very small baby in the other; or the guy piping churro batter into a giant open bowl of hot oil teetering on top of a rickety stand.  A few days ago, as we sat eating tacos from the stand on the corner (in and of itself a risky prospect at times), a young boy walked out of his home, stood on the street in front of us, and began swinging in the air, yes, you guessed it – a pair of scissors.  on a fucking string.  Toys for tots?  I think we could use a little help south of the border.

QM

Sunday Kind of Love

the boys hanging upstairs while i slept in

afternoon at the beach

washing away the sand

back at the beach for the cvis surfout party

and wrapping it all up with:

Star Trek (the movie), red wine, cupcakes

Tattooed Love Child

Photo by Donna Day Photography.

Check out more of our Family Fotos by Donna Day.

To King Maxxi, On Your Very First Birthday

Here are a just a few of the things that I absolutely love and adore about you, right now:

• The many ways you say “Ma-ma!,” with: sweetness, urgency, need, frustration, love.
• Your face lighting up when I walk into a room.
• How you call my name when you wake up in the morning.
• Your need to switch boobs every few minutes when you are nursing.
• The way you tug on my shirt to get at my chi-chis.
• How you pop up from nursing in the early morning, look over at your sleeping father, smile so wide in the dark, clap your little hands and say “Daddy!”
• Your belly laughs when I tickle your neck.
• Your chuckles when we ask you, “Where’s your weenie?”
• The way you throw your arms around my neck when I pick you up off the bed.
• How you lay your head on your Nona’s shoulder and fall asleep in her arms.
• When you point at each of the butterflies tattooed on my arm, like reading your favorite book.
• The way you shake your thing, tiny dancer.
• Your incessant flirting; your sometimes shyness.
• Splashing in the bathtub, and family baths.
• Naked time.
• That your books are your favorites of all your (many) toys.
• You brushed your own teeth this morning.
• How you see, analyze, copy, and figure out everything going on around you.
• When you grab your favorite book from the bin, open it, point to a picture, and look at me with your big brown eyes.
• Those eyes.
• Your sort-of fading obsession with carrying around your spoon all day long.
• How you will eat almost everything I put in front of you.
• How you would not eat raw zucchini from your food-net-popsicle-thingy.  Duh.
• When the other baby took your toy, the way you quietly waited for him to put it down, and then quietly reclaimed it.
• You rub your hands over your arms, mimicking the action of us applying your powder and bug spray.
• Peek-a-boo.
• How you squirm and arch every time we put you in your car seat or the stroller.
• How you light up when your Daddy walks into the room.
• Playing hide-n-seek with the bedtime books that Daddy is about to read you.
• You turning the book pages yourself.
• The way you turn around to climb down, just like I taught you.
• How you seemed present for each birthday present.
• You couldn’t get enough of the special cake I made you.
• The way your Grandparents look at you.
• How you nuzzle into my neck.
• How each moment is brand new.
• How you are so much US, and so much more YOU.
• How many years we have ahead of us…
• You are my sun – my Son – and that will never change, no matter how much else does.

Love Always, Mommy